When you decide to free your voice, you’re inviting deep exploration. You’re inviting a response from your soul, your essence. You’ve chosen to take a deep dive into your past for the purposes of being more alive in your future.
The journey begins with a catalyst. It seems there’s something missing from your voice, or it’s less than it could be. Call it resonance, call it embodiment, call it sparkle. No matter the name, once you’re aware, you have an amazing experience ahead of you.
It’s a journey to a more energized future.
I’ve worked with so many women who say they’ve either lost their voice or had it stolen from them.
It’s easy for us to believe this.
Something happens – a mean comment, a childhood rule, a mistake or failure, a career misstep – and there’s an energy loss. We form a belief that we’re not okay, and subsequent situations reinforce the belief. It becomes part of our negative hit parade, those thoughts that show up at the most inconvenient times.
Blasts from the past.
As I’ve discovered personally, and my clients have also discovered, we may bury the conscious memory of the comments, rules, mistakes, and missteps, but the song is still playing on as discordant background music. As a result, when we hit a barrier, we don’t understand why.
And the beat goes on and on.
To free your voice, you must pull the beliefs to the surface and release them – a process for which your voice is the perfect tool.
Free Your Voice by Seeing What You Haven’t Seen Before
Here are just a few verbatim samples of how clients have expressed the perceived loss of their voice – and subsequently their power:
- How dare I ask for joy and happiness?
- I’ve felt grief for my entire life and never known the source.
- How can I live a creative life and still get paid for it?
- Why bother asking for what I want, I know I won’t get it.
- What keeps me from expressing who really am is other peoples’ opinions.
You can sense the pain in those words, and for each of those painful questions or statements, there’s an equally painful story.
You know those statements aren’t true, and I know they’re not true. But it doesn’t matter as long as we believe they are.
So where do you start to break free and recover your lost or stolen vocal birthright?
Start by spending some time with the questions below.
Awareness: the First Step to Free Your Voice
Do you have any negative memories regarding your voice? What were some of the childhood rules about what you could say and what you couldn’t say?
Here’s an example from my childhood. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I’m still dealing with that one!
Did any adult ever deny what you were feeling or punish you when expressing anger, frustration, or fear? What incidents do you remember?
Openness: What’s Your Current Perception of Your Voice?
Moving to your current perception, does your voice now completely represent what you feel or believe about yourself?
What do you think your voice teaches other people about how you want to be treated?
How often do you say something you don’t mean because you think that someone expects it? For example, do you say yes when you want to say no, or no when you want to say yes?
Oh, the times I’ve done that!
What are the physical changes in your body when you express your happiness? Anger? Depression? Are you aware of the emotional tone of your own voice?
Perception: Your Current View of Others’ Voices
As you free your voice, you’ll begin to notice your responses to other peoples’ voices.
How do you react to someone being very loud? Is there a difference in your response according to whether it’s a man or a woman?
As you listen to others, what are the vocal qualities that you like?
How do you react when you hear anger in someone’s voice? When you hear fear? Joy? Enthusiasm?
Have you ever made a decision about a relationship – either personal or professional – based on the quality of that person’s voice?
I have, and it cost that person a fee for a course.
Do you trust your perception when you hear someone say one thing but you sense another? In other words, you think they’re lying. How do you handle those situations?
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Focus: Notice What You Like About Your Voice
What do you like about your voice right now? What particular qualities would you most like to enhance to make it better? Name some of them.
Have you experienced the resonance of your own voice, when you knew you were completely embodying it, and it felt wonderful and powerful? What were you doing?
Can you recreate that feeling?
Inspiration: Enhancing Your Voice Energy
You’ve no doubt seen by now that to free your voice you have to examine it from both physical and emotional perspectives.
What are the circumstances under which you ‘lose’ your vocal power? Do you ever experience physical huskiness, having to clear your throat constantly, or having full blown laryngitis?
Have you ever lost your voice in a highly emotional moment? What was happening?
What does it mean to you when you give your word or make a promise?
Do you listen to your inner voice when it offers you guidance and inspiration?
Have you ever experienced just sitting in stillness, no television, no reading, or no communication with others? What was it like?
Affirm, Rinse, Repeat
The deeper your answers to the questions above the more you will free your voice. But the work is never done – and that’s the gift in your voice, to constantly provide the contrast that points you to what you want. It becomes a dance between the release of limitation and the affirmation of ongoing changes.
Affirmations have two purposes; to build a new framework for experiencing your voice; and to bring more of your negative hit parade to the surface.
These examples of affirmations are taken from 31 Days of In-Powering Voice Affirmations. (Download it for free, no optin required.)
I have a strong, resonant, and supple voice.
My joyful work is to voice the vision that rises within me as inspiration from Divine Consciousness.
My voice holds within its warm tones compassion for myself and for others.
Out of all the questions, which one was the most helpful for you? Please share in the comments.